For The Emotionally Retarded
by Poisoned Scarlet
Summary: AU, NejiTen. “He never found out when it would end, but he did know when it started.”


_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto._

_**For The Emotionally Retard  
**.Poisoned Scarlet._

**Anime: **_Naruto.  
_**Pairing: **_Neji Hyuuga & Tenten._**  
Genre: **_Romance/Humor.  
_**Type: **_Alternate Universe._**  
Format: **_One-shot._**  
Warning: **_None._**  
Summary: **"_He never found out when it would end, but he did know when it started."_

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He never found out when it would end, but he did know when it started.

Neji Hyuuga had never been a man to show much emotion. Perhaps it was the way the regal Hyuuga life-style taught a young boy the do's and don'ts of the world. Maybe it was the was his parents were—or rather, the way his parents were never there for him when he needed them the most. Maybe it was his unforgiving uncle that abused him during his younger ages or maybe it was the way he fell into clinical depression and held onto this psycho belief that Fate controlled all.

He never did try to figure out _why_ exactly.

He just never found it interesting enough. That was the blatant truth. Finding out why he was such an emotional retard and why almost every word he spoke had to have some sort of 'I-Am-Holier-Than-Thou' echo wasn't high on his what-I-wish-to-discover-before-I-die list. Please. He had enough things to berate himself about. He didn't need any more.

And even if he had a very much depressing childhood and had had absolutely _no_ advances towards acquiring more of an emotional come-off, he was still human. To be specific, he was male. So as a male, that meant that he like females, right? Well, you're wrong.

Apparently, Neji had no attraction towards females. He had a very disdainful, very harsh look on the female population. He thought of them as stupid, beauty-obsessed, bints who needed to get their heads into books or else they'd end up barefoot, standing in-front of a stove, holding a baby in their arms as their husband came back from work.

Harsh? Perhaps. Degrading? Defiantly. False?.... Not so much. The way things were going, most of the female population would probably steer themselves into _that_ direction soon enough. If they thought about it, it would be easier. All they had to do was pop out babies, clean and cook, and have the rest of the time chilling on the couch watching soap operas. But women were very curious creatures. They didn't like being left alone for half their life-time. So, as curious creatures, they'd get bored, feel lonely, feel neglected, and probably start up an affair with some sexy, hot, CEO and inevitably ruin the marriage and another kid's childhood.

"Hey, Neji, look at _that_," said Naruto, looking pointedly at the girl who'd just bent over to pick up a pencil. But that wasn't very important to him, what was was the VIP glance he was getting as she bent down. Because that skirt happened to be way too short on her and her underwear happened to not cover her bum enough if you catch my drift.

Neji looked and scrunched his nose. "Disgusting. I've just lost my appetite." He set down his chopsticks and pushed his plate away. Naruto cast him a deadpanned look.

"Seriously dude, I'm questioning your sexuality." He grabbed Neji's shoulders and steered his vision back to the girl _still _bending down picking up that pencil. "She's dong it on purpose so you can get an eye-full of that tight ass! How can you not be turned on?" She finally stood up and glanced over her shoulder with a cute pink blush over her cheeks. Naruto winked in her direction.

Neji wasn't the least bit moved. "Right. I feel aroused at the thought of seeing her ass and thinking how many other men have also witnessed that small charade and are having dirty thoughts about it...."

Naruto sighed. "I don't know whats wrong with you—" Suddenly, he paled. Neji rose a brow at his friends sudden horror. Naruto grabbed him by the collar and shoved him up close into his face. Much too close. "Neji... don't tell me... please don't..."

Neji, trying to push himself _away_ since it was getting much to personal for his liking, strained: "Don't tell you what exactly?"

"Don't... tell me you're..." Naruto dropped his voice below a whisper. "Gay."

Neji stopped struggling and stared at him. He stared at him for a very long time before he recovered his strength and shoved Naruto away from him. Coldly, he said, "I am not gay, Naruto. I do not know what gave you that absurd idea, but I assure you, I am completely heterosexual."

Naruto squinted up at him. "Ya sure? 'Cause... It took you quite a while to push me off..."

Neji gave him a harrowing glare. "Yes. I'm sure."

Naruto gulped and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Uhh, right, right. You're straight. And not gay. Right..." Naruto gazed down at his jeans while Neji's eyes bore into his skull.

"You don't believe me. "Neji stated flatly.

"N-NO!" Naruto sputtered. "Course I believe you it's just..."

"Just?"

"Just that—that you've never showed interest in girls even once! And—And you talk about how stupid and dumb they are and... well, what was I suppose to think?!" shouted Naruto defensively.

"That perhaps I just haven't met a girl that's appealed to me in that sense?" Neji countered harshly. He stood up from his seat, sending a malicious sneer to all the on-lookers who were watching with much interest. They were taken aback by the usually calm Hyuuga's sneer and watched him exit the classroom just as the warning bell rung.

Naruto sighed. "Sasuke's right, he really does need to get laid."

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So, in a nutshell, she was late.

Tenten ran down the sidewalk at top-speed, glancing at her watch repeatedly, and thinking to herself how stupid it was of her to sleep so late chugging down cup after cup of coffee. I mean, could she get any more stupider? Coffee always made her hyper and to drink about three cups in a time-span of two hours? At the middle of the night, nonetheless!

_I am going to be soo late, _She thought as she dodged a mailbox. _Very late indeed. _It wasn't as if she hadn't been late before. But before she had an excuse slip or a really good alibi to use, now she had nothing. She couldn't very well say she was late because she stayed up reading sappy, cliché, romantic novels, drinking cups of coffee because her boyfriend of a year broke it off with her.

"Don't worry about him! He was a bastard anyways!" Sakura had comforted her. "Look, how about this Saturday we go to the mall and check out some cute guys, yeah?" And she had accepted. Not because she wanted to but because she was way to entranced in that romance soap Sakura had gotten her hooked on.

She loved that girl so much she hated her, if that made any sense.

Tenten broke through the front gate of Konoha High and didn't stop running until she'd reached her desired building. The senior building. Yes, seniors got their own special building and classes. Not as awesome as you might expect—they also happened to get the most strictest, meanest, and overall demanding teachers in the school.

She blew out a breath of relief. They hadn't closed the gate yet—that meant she was still on time.

She gripped the strap of her backpack tightly as she walked up the four stair steps and into the crowded hall of the school. It was less crowded than usual because classes had obviously started—the warning bell had already rang.

_Alright, get to class and—_ She would have finished that thought if it wasn't for the fact that someone had bumped into her. Someone tall, broad, and muscular. She looked up into dark, obsidian, eyes which stared back into her own rich chocolate brown with irritation.

"Watch it, you bitch." He sneered distastefully. He pushed her away from him and continued down his path while Tenten melted into the blue-black lockers that lined the wall.

_Oh... crap. Sasuke Uchiha just branded me a Loser. _Tenten ducked her head when several teens snickered at her, kicking away her black Jansport backpack even farther down the hall. Tenten sighed. _Just what I needed; Sasuke Uchiha, number one hottie in the school, to shoo me away like trash. Great. _Tenten pushed herself off the lockers, searching the ground for her now-missing bag.

And, for the second-time that day, Tenten had bumped into one other cynical, emotionally inept, bastard.

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Neji liked to ponder about things. Most of the things he pondered over were quiet trivial or just plain stupid, but when he pondered over things... he came up with _very_ interesting conclusions. Like that one time he pondered over why Sasuke Uchiha his, not-as-close-as-everyone-else-thinks-they-are, friend had been acting a bit... well, the wrong word would be _idiotic_ but he couldn't very well say that. Sasuke would tear a knife through his neck. The right word would be _spacey._

Just spacey. Why? Because, as Neji observed him, Sasuke had been acting very much like a guy who'd been struck by Cupids unmerciful arrows. Like a love-struck moron, he would so crudely say. So Neji pondered over this.

Why?

What stupid, retarded, vainglorious, woman could have caught his attention? Was it that Karin girl? Neji inwardly cringed when he summed up the possibility that it could be her. But then he threw that suggestion out the window when he saw Sasuke literally, like literally, shove her into a locker and, without so much of a word, walk right past her screeching form.

What about Ino Yamanaka. Yeah, he considered her. He had to admit, she was very pretty but she was a complete prat. She was coincided and fit the image of a mean girl. Neji suspected she suffered from multiple personality disorder because of the way she'd change from person to person and she was a total bitch when it came to noticing other peoples emotions.

And people thought he had issues with _his_ emotions. She obviously had major problems with her own, spiraling, unpredictable, ones.

But he had to mark her off of that list when she tried to cling to his arm and Sasuke had vehemently replied with a: "fuck off, you slut."

So, after marking off many girls, he came to one final conclusion.

Sakura Haruno. She was a beautiful girl with majestic curves built into her body, a strong yet kind, personality and she was quite the brainiac. Even to Neji, she seemed like the perfect girl. But that was her flaw. She had perfect, silky, _exotic _rosette hair matched along with sparkling emerald green eyes and a pretty average, cheerful and kind, attitude towards life and other people. She had smooth, evenly toned, pale skin and she was a straight-A student. She had a nice family, a good social status, and she came from a family who made enough money to stay up by the medium-high scale in the wealth category.

She. Was. Perfect. No denying that.

She was absolutely perfect. Hence the hate on his part, but not from envy, heavens no! (Hyuuga's didn't do envy, they made _other _people envy them.) but from how much she had and how much she took for granted. He could see it in every move she did. She knew she had it all and yet she never thought, not even for one day, that it might all just disappear.

Poof.

She just kept on living her Barbi doll life. And since she'd never caused a problem for Neji, well, he never did anything about it. They kept their distance. But he did happen to find, in that ponder of his, that Sasuke Uchiha was majorly crushing on Barbi doll-perfect Haruno Sakura.

That was disturbing to him. Since when he innocently (okay, not so innocently..) brought up the conversation, Sasuke had plainly confessed that he _did_ harbor some feelings for her. And just like that he inevitably got himself a death threat taped onto the inside of his locker door the next day as well a good: "You'll know how I feel when you get that feeling, Hyuuga. Word of advice for the emotionally retarded—don't let her go once you find her." scolding.

Neji made note never to pry into someone else's personal life ever again.

And that word of advice? Kind of stupid, no? But of course, Neji being Neji, he took it into consideration even though he thought it was idiotic.

His foot stepped on something and he bent down to grab what looked like a... backpack?

_Well, look at this. _He analyzed the bag from top to bottom. _Someone left a backpack lying on the ground. _And then, suddenly, he felt a strong shove throw him off a few steps. He heard some gasps and some whispers but he ignored that, instead, he just kept staring at the young girl below him apologizing her head off.

"Oh—I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! I totally didn't mean it!" Neji noted the childish Chinese buns on her head and the Chinese shirt she wore. He didn't say anything as she swallowed and slowly looked up. Her small hands were grabbing his white collard shirt so as to steady herself but the instant their eyes met, Neji felt something very, very odd.

He felt a bolt of electricity the instant his lilac eyes made contact with her own chocolate-gold eyes. She felt like the ground just crumbled beneath her more from fright than from attraction since she got the hostile-waves of doom emitting from somewhere behind her.

Neji could see the bright pink hue that formed above the bridge of her nose intensify in colour the more they stared into each others eyes.

"U-Umm.." she stuttered. "That's.. my bag.. you're holding..." Neji didn't break contact—he was, strangely, enjoying himself making her all flustered.

"What's your bag doing on the floor?" Neji was relieved to know his vocal cords still worked—if he had stuttered not only would his Hyuuga pride be wounded (stumbling over words for a girl? Had he gone daft?) but his reputation as the "Most Cool" person in Konoha High would be tarnished. Because as most cool, that meant he didn't get flustered. For anyone. Not for the principle when he got in trouble, not for his mother when she yelled at him _because_ he got in trouble, and defiantly not for that cute, innocent-looking, attractive young girl standing right in-front of him, damn it!

"Some—Some guy pushed me and I dropped my bag and then people kicked it and..." Tenten was surprised to find it back into her hands without another word from the sexy man she'd just so happened to bump into. Tenten knew him, of course. He was Neji Hyuuga. Total hottie and the second Sasuke Uchiha for his cold, demanding demeanor and quite, expressionless, attitude.

And the guy Tenten happened to be—secretly—crushing on. Tenten convinced herself it didn't matter. Before, she had a boyfriend. But, obviously, they weren't serious about each other which was why she only felt sad for a little while. Back to the topic at hand, it wasn't like he was going to notice her; she barely had any classes with him. Okay, lie. She had the majority of her classes with him, which was partial reason why she couldn't get over him. She needed to stop seeing him! So she could stop thinking about him and his sexy six-pack and get school over with.

Yes. She made a little progress in getting over him, thank you.

But now, Tenten thought she'd taken a huge leap back. All that progress... wasted. Why? Because Tenten felt a shock of white light rush through her when their eyes connected. Love at first sight? Tenten inwardly scoffed. Can that be anymore cliché?

Tenten swallowed. Those romance novels were sure starting to affect her...

Neji still didn't break eye contact, instead, he gave her one of his rare smirks. Tenten felt her cheeks burn. "Well, aren't you clumsy." he then walked past her, that same knowing smirk on his face.

Tenten clamped her jaw.

_Okay, that was more humiliating than it was heart-stopping _Tenten thought dryly as she watched him walk down the hall. Then he stopped all together, stayed like that for a moment, and fully turned to look at her as she clutched her bag to her chest.

Witnesses stared flabbergasted as Neji Hyuuga, Ice Bitch, female-hater, emotional retard, motioned her over to him with a single flick of his wrist. His face revealed nothing as he called her over; contrary his face stayed very still and controlled.

Tenten just gulped and cautiously caught up with him, the same hot burning on her cheeks growing hotter if you can imagine. "What... What do you need?"

Neji shook his head. "Nothing. You dropped this." He handed her her notebook. Tenten looked down at her backpack; the zipper was open! She flushed an even deeper ruby red and stammered a squeaky "Th-Thanks!" before watching him once more trail down that hall, emitting his usual casual aura, and not once looking back at her.

Not once.

Tenten suddenly felt stupid for even considering he had interest in her; now that she thought about it, he did the same thing to every girl! Thats why they loved him.

"He's such a gentleman!" they'd squeal. "He's got such good manners" they'd gloat.

Che.

She scoffed at herself, slapping her cheeks despite the already horrible red blush. "I'm so stupid.. him and me? Yeah, that's like hooking up The Joker with Cinderella. Not compatible..." Tenten sighed and glanced down at her Calculus notebook. "No hope..." She started to walk forward when her ankle bent to the wrong angle. Tenten dropped the book and steadied herself using the wall right next to her.

_Oh, yeah, go break your ankle, Tenten! You the girl. _As she bent down to grab her notebook, she stayed in the position for a very long time when a few words caught her eye. The notebook happened to open up to the final page, where some large words written in fine print blinked back at her saying:

_Meet me after school in the Gym. And please, don't forget your bag this time. _

_Neji Hyuuga._

Oh, boy, if this meant what she thought it meant then she'd have to cancel her little boyfriend shopping with Sakura on Saturday.

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_**A/N: When I wrote this, it made no sense in my brain. Like, it was all out of order until I read and thought 'Hey, I finished it and it's sort of good Might as well!.' So I hope you guys like this. Yes, I know it's majorly cliché since I made Neji such a woman-hater and then he suddenly finds interest in Tenten but so what?! I was feeling cliché and most women feel that way too, right? Sometimes you just need some Stephanie Meyer in ya XDD I know it's rushed and perhaps it's a bit confusing, but it's like 4 am and I'm going to school in a "few" hours... **_

_**Scratch that. Its Monday. Memorial day. Cheyeah, no school!**_

_**REVIEW! It makes me happy :3**_

_**Panda.**_


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